Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
