Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
