nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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