That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
