walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
