your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
