i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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