sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
