We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
