apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
