she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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