Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
