we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
