Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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