My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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