I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ugly people sure do ruin things
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
