At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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