You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
