i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
