Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
