I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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