Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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