Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize