when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
