Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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