He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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