Cold hands, warm shart.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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