the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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