Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
nutella sex= disaster
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
