We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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