the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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