Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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