apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
