Already got asked if we're dating
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish life had little blips of pornography
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
