I feel like abortions should bother me more
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As shirtless as possible
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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