Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
