I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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