I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
