Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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