But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize