I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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