you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The air was thick with penises
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
