discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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