I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
