i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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