READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
