I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I could teleport
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize