Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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