Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize