Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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