well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
