i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
