i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
