Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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