new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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