I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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