omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
