so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
