I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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