is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
